So I met a guy the other night (the night that inspired the "no more boys" comment). It turns out that he actually wants to date me, a prospect I find completely and totally frightening (not to mention unusual). Anyone who knows me well can tell you that any guy who expresses interest in me is doomed from the start. I love the chase, and if that element is missing, I must confess I see little point in dating. I thought for a long time that this was due to my utter fear of commitment, and that may well be a contributing cause. But I think I've discovered another reason.

If I were a guy, I would be what polite society calls a "confirmed bachelor." Polite or not, society refers to such women as whores, or, as they age, spinsters. I say hurrah for old maids, and I can't wait to be one. I'm not opposed to the idea of marriage, for other people. I just have little interest in it myself.

It's the not idea of forever that scares me about marriage. The truth is I just really like to be alone. And so I don't want to date; I don't want a boyfriend. I like having my own space, and my own schedule. I like that if I want to go out of town for the weekend, I just go. If I want to run at midnight, or read all night, or wake up at dawn to do yoga on the roof, I can. If I want to leave my apartment in shambles or keep it spotlessly clean, I do. And if I want to spend a couple of days completely by myself with no contact with the outside world, no one even has to realize I am doing so.

Now I'm not saying I dislike people or want to be alone all the time. I love my friends and family, and I always enjoy my time with them. It's just that at the end of day I want to go to my own home and sleep by myself. And I don't see how a boyfriend can fit into that lifestyle.

The trouble is that now I have to figure out how to explain this to the guy I met. If I say, "It's not you; it's me," I'm sure it will sound like a bad line. But in this case, it's true. He's pretty perfect. I'm just not interested.