Today on the news I heard our esteemed mayor say how upset he is that factories are leaving our fair city and moving to China.
Today on the news I heard our esteemed mayor say that he saw nothing wrong with allowing Walmart to open a store in our fair city.
I see a contradiction here. Does he? Do you?
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Sometimes I'm not all that bright. Yesterday I ran 3 miles, at a slow pace, with my brace on. Felt pretty good. So this morning I ran 5 miles at a quick pace (though still with the brace). The result: my knee is sore again. Stupid, stupid, stupid. This reminds me of the time in Georgia when I tried to prove that I could hop one-footed (on my left foot) over several log thingies. At least that time the only thing injured by my stubbornness was my pair of jeans. I'd like to say that someday I'll learn from past moments of idiocy, but we all know that's not the case!
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Further proof that running is unnatural: today I lost two toenails. Perhaps it's a good thing I can't make it to the bridal party manicure/pedicure session on Friday. On the bright side, my knee is feeling much, much better. I might not need to wear my brace under my bridesmaid dress.
***
My hallway smells like fish. Actually, like fishy eggs. (Though not like fish eggs.) The problem: I hate the smell of fish. And the smell of eggs. I started to wonder if maybe I dislike all protein scents. I definitely hate the smell of meat. And soy. But then I remembered yummy peanut butter, and my theory was disproven.
***
Today I almost printed out an email out of spite. A girl I'd never seen accosted me in my office and said she had a grievance. Now, I did mess up. I made a very small and basically inconsequential mistake. But she made one too, one that could have been much more consequential (though wasn't). And she claimed that she'd told me the right thing in the first place. So I really wanted to print out the email that proved that I was right and put the printout in her mailbox. But of course I didn't. I just smiled and promised to make everything right. And let it go. Or something like that.
***
And hey, are secretaries usually called at home to answer work questions? Do they usually charge work expenses to their personal credit cards when someone else is late in getting them crucial information? Or do I just take my job way too seriously? (Don't answer that! I already know what you're going to say!)
***
I decided on a new career path. I want to study urban traffic patterns. Because I just don't understand the drivers in this city. Is it really that much more difficult to drive in the rain? Is it that hard to remember that there's a cop in the same spot on the same street every single day? Are traffic signs that difficult to read? Do people forget how to merge from day to day? I need to start biking to work!
***
My hallway smells like fish. Actually, like fishy eggs. (Though not like fish eggs.) The problem: I hate the smell of fish. And the smell of eggs. I started to wonder if maybe I dislike all protein scents. I definitely hate the smell of meat. And soy. But then I remembered yummy peanut butter, and my theory was disproven.
***
Today I almost printed out an email out of spite. A girl I'd never seen accosted me in my office and said she had a grievance. Now, I did mess up. I made a very small and basically inconsequential mistake. But she made one too, one that could have been much more consequential (though wasn't). And she claimed that she'd told me the right thing in the first place. So I really wanted to print out the email that proved that I was right and put the printout in her mailbox. But of course I didn't. I just smiled and promised to make everything right. And let it go. Or something like that.
***
And hey, are secretaries usually called at home to answer work questions? Do they usually charge work expenses to their personal credit cards when someone else is late in getting them crucial information? Or do I just take my job way too seriously? (Don't answer that! I already know what you're going to say!)
***
I decided on a new career path. I want to study urban traffic patterns. Because I just don't understand the drivers in this city. Is it really that much more difficult to drive in the rain? Is it that hard to remember that there's a cop in the same spot on the same street every single day? Are traffic signs that difficult to read? Do people forget how to merge from day to day? I need to start biking to work!
Monday, March 29, 2004
After Spikey diagnosed my knee pain as an IT-band problem, I did a little research into causes and treatments. And I think I figured out what happened. Yes, I was on a long run yesterday, but my knee started hurting about 4.5 miles in. I've gone that far before without problems. But I do a lot of my running on a treadmill. I'm used to a flat surface. A little over four miles from my house, the lakefront path is pretty steeply banked, unless you run right up by the lake. So many people were out running and walking yesterday that the flat section was quite crowded. So I ran on the steep bank. Not my best idea.
In any case, my knee is feeling somewhat better today, though all the damn stairs at work didn't help much.
In any case, my knee is feeling somewhat better today, though all the damn stairs at work didn't help much.
Every once in a while even bad TV has good moments.
From Still Standing:
"Isn't that what faith is all about-- believing in something without a guarantee?"
"Oh, like the Cubs. I get I now."
***
Now that I'm home, with food in my stomach and my knee brace on, I feel almost human again. There for a while it was pretty touch-and-go. It should never, never take over an hour to drive 13 miles. Ever. I could bike 13 miles in that time. Humph.
It didn't help that I left the office in a bad mood. I know I should be glad I have work to complain about (and I am), but really, people are just stupid. Part of my job involves customer service. Granted, I don't deal with a lot of actual "customers," but whether or not they are spending money, I do represent the department, and I have to be nice.
Today I had trouble with that.
There was a woman coming to campus to meet with one of the professors. I got stuck trying to give her directions over the phone. I've worked there three weeks. I didn't know what the hell I was talking about, but I still did a damn good job. She kept talking about how she'd heard it was a really bad neighborhood, and she didn't want to go through any dangerous areas. Driving, mind you, not walking. I promised her that it would be perfectly safe, and I even took her a little bit out of her way just so that she wouldn't have to see any sketchy sections of town. And then she called back from the road after she went the wrong way, missing a very clearly marked sign. And then she called again. And again. And again. And she just kept saying how she was scared of bad neighborhoods. And then she had the nerve to ask if she had to go such a roundabout way on the way home. At one point I had to stay on the phone with her while she drove, saying yes, that is the next street you should be passing. Yep, still right.
Now, I'm not saying I've never gotten lost. I know sometimes you can get turned around in an unfamiliar area. I would look at a map first... Actually, this crazy woman said she tried to mapquest our address and couldn't find it, which is ridiculous because I've mapped it before. And hey, they make paper maps these days... What really drove me insane was that she seemed incapable of thinking for herself or making decisions. I mean, if someone told you to head away from downtown and turn onto 89th street (hypothetical numbers here), and you hit 91st street, wouldn't you kind of figure 89th had to be behind you somewhere? C'mon, it's simple math.
***
I also get to deal with academics all day long. I know they make a lot more money than I do. I know they're more educated than I am. I know what they're doing is more important than what I'm doing (well, sort of). I have a lot of respect for them. I know for a fact I can't do what they do. But really, is it that difficult for them to do their own menial tasks? One guy took time to come down to my office and describe a problem he was having with his phone. The solution? Press pound-6. Took about three second on the phone with tech support for me to get the answer. It took him longer to walk to my office than it would have to call for himself. I just do not understand that mentality.
***
And now my neighbors are playing ridiculously loud-- and bad-- music. And I can't go run because I need a rest day. GRRRR.
From Still Standing:
"Isn't that what faith is all about-- believing in something without a guarantee?"
"Oh, like the Cubs. I get I now."
***
Now that I'm home, with food in my stomach and my knee brace on, I feel almost human again. There for a while it was pretty touch-and-go. It should never, never take over an hour to drive 13 miles. Ever. I could bike 13 miles in that time. Humph.
It didn't help that I left the office in a bad mood. I know I should be glad I have work to complain about (and I am), but really, people are just stupid. Part of my job involves customer service. Granted, I don't deal with a lot of actual "customers," but whether or not they are spending money, I do represent the department, and I have to be nice.
Today I had trouble with that.
There was a woman coming to campus to meet with one of the professors. I got stuck trying to give her directions over the phone. I've worked there three weeks. I didn't know what the hell I was talking about, but I still did a damn good job. She kept talking about how she'd heard it was a really bad neighborhood, and she didn't want to go through any dangerous areas. Driving, mind you, not walking. I promised her that it would be perfectly safe, and I even took her a little bit out of her way just so that she wouldn't have to see any sketchy sections of town. And then she called back from the road after she went the wrong way, missing a very clearly marked sign. And then she called again. And again. And again. And she just kept saying how she was scared of bad neighborhoods. And then she had the nerve to ask if she had to go such a roundabout way on the way home. At one point I had to stay on the phone with her while she drove, saying yes, that is the next street you should be passing. Yep, still right.
Now, I'm not saying I've never gotten lost. I know sometimes you can get turned around in an unfamiliar area. I would look at a map first... Actually, this crazy woman said she tried to mapquest our address and couldn't find it, which is ridiculous because I've mapped it before. And hey, they make paper maps these days... What really drove me insane was that she seemed incapable of thinking for herself or making decisions. I mean, if someone told you to head away from downtown and turn onto 89th street (hypothetical numbers here), and you hit 91st street, wouldn't you kind of figure 89th had to be behind you somewhere? C'mon, it's simple math.
***
I also get to deal with academics all day long. I know they make a lot more money than I do. I know they're more educated than I am. I know what they're doing is more important than what I'm doing (well, sort of). I have a lot of respect for them. I know for a fact I can't do what they do. But really, is it that difficult for them to do their own menial tasks? One guy took time to come down to my office and describe a problem he was having with his phone. The solution? Press pound-6. Took about three second on the phone with tech support for me to get the answer. It took him longer to walk to my office than it would have to call for himself. I just do not understand that mentality.
***
And now my neighbors are playing ridiculously loud-- and bad-- music. And I can't go run because I need a rest day. GRRRR.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Apparently I'm on a posting kick.
The other day I was at an NU alum networking event. I hate networking, but $10 for 2.5 hours of open bar is always good. Anyway, didn't do much networking, but at one point some girl was talking about internet dating. She'd been on 25 first dates in a month and was a little disillusioned. But she'd heard about a new site that sounded promising. I checked it out-- way too funny!
The other day I was at an NU alum networking event. I hate networking, but $10 for 2.5 hours of open bar is always good. Anyway, didn't do much networking, but at one point some girl was talking about internet dating. She'd been on 25 first dates in a month and was a little disillusioned. But she'd heard about a new site that sounded promising. I checked it out-- way too funny!
Thursday, March 25, 2004
I've been thinking a lot about languages recently. Could be because I work in a department that offers over 10 languages. Could be because I miss studying and want to learn new languages. I've only gotten as far as the alphabet in Russian, but I love that moment when something that used to look like gibberish to you suddenly makes some kind of sense.
When I was in Ohio last weekend, I went to Mass with Mom. On the way there we were talking about her mother, who understood Czech but refused to speak it with her parents. Mom was saying how sad it was that Granny denied her heritage, and didn't pass it on to all of us. Then we get to church, and Mass was in Latin. Mom grew up with Latin Mass, but she refuses to participate when they do it now. After a while I leaned over and pointed out how similar she is to Gran. Mom just said, "I know," and continued to stage her one-woman protest. The funny thing is that I love Latin Mass. I can understand almost every word. Some combination of taking Spanish and French, singing Latin songs in choir, 20+ years of Mass in English, and a healthy knowledge of English vocabulary makes it work. There are some words/phrases that seem so obvious to me that I truly forget that not everyone knows the meaning of "agnus dei."
As I've been trying to re-learn Hebrew, I've been struck by some of its more fun features. Hebrew is often written without vowels. In theory you should still be able to understand what's going on, as most Hebrew words are based on three-letter roots (three consonants). So the same three letters would make up the verb "to eat" and the noun "food." I also love how concise Hebrew can be. You would say, "I happy," not "I AM happy." Or "studied," not "I studied." But what I've always found most fascinating is that the present-tense first person is conjugated based on gender. If I say "I read," it would be different than if my brother said, "I read." The SNL "It's Pat" skit wouldn't be feasible because you would always know the speaker's gender. I would like to write (or read) a study of how that affects self identification of little kids, of transgender individuals, etc.
When I was in Ohio last weekend, I went to Mass with Mom. On the way there we were talking about her mother, who understood Czech but refused to speak it with her parents. Mom was saying how sad it was that Granny denied her heritage, and didn't pass it on to all of us. Then we get to church, and Mass was in Latin. Mom grew up with Latin Mass, but she refuses to participate when they do it now. After a while I leaned over and pointed out how similar she is to Gran. Mom just said, "I know," and continued to stage her one-woman protest. The funny thing is that I love Latin Mass. I can understand almost every word. Some combination of taking Spanish and French, singing Latin songs in choir, 20+ years of Mass in English, and a healthy knowledge of English vocabulary makes it work. There are some words/phrases that seem so obvious to me that I truly forget that not everyone knows the meaning of "agnus dei."
As I've been trying to re-learn Hebrew, I've been struck by some of its more fun features. Hebrew is often written without vowels. In theory you should still be able to understand what's going on, as most Hebrew words are based on three-letter roots (three consonants). So the same three letters would make up the verb "to eat" and the noun "food." I also love how concise Hebrew can be. You would say, "I happy," not "I AM happy." Or "studied," not "I studied." But what I've always found most fascinating is that the present-tense first person is conjugated based on gender. If I say "I read," it would be different than if my brother said, "I read." The SNL "It's Pat" skit wouldn't be feasible because you would always know the speaker's gender. I would like to write (or read) a study of how that affects self identification of little kids, of transgender individuals, etc.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
This has been an up-and-down day. Work was incredibly boring; traffic sucked; run went ok. And this evening I've gotten THREE out-of-town calls. I never get any, so three is just bizarre.
First was Spikey calling from Georgia. I can't believe that I hadn't talked to her in so long that I didn't even know she was in Georgia. Every time I've been away from Spikey I've said I would email/call every day. But I'm just so damn bad at that! I really miss Spikey, and I'm glad I'll see her next week. I wish I had enough money to fly out to her. Or to fly the two of us to some tralhead somewhere! And CONGRATS to Spikey for getting an NSF grant!!
Second call was Rob! Hadn't heard from him in forever either. He started by telling me he'd gotten married in Vegas. I didn't really believe it, but he kept going for so long that I almost started to. I remember him going to Vegas for March Madness last year, so it was somewhat plausible. Turns out he was in Vegas but didn't get married. Which is good because it sounds like there might be trouble in paradise. In fact, I think Rob may have propositioned me long distance. Well, assuming he ever made it to Chicago, which seems highly unlikely!
Last call was my dad. Granddad is back in the hospital, and Grandma's agreed to put the house on the market. I'm very glad I went home last weekend, but it looks like I may be going home a lot more in coming weeks/months. And I'm going to call my brother and make him take a trip back there, too. He hasn't been home since Christmas, and he's only four-and-a-half hours away. I think Dad may need us more than he's willing to admit. Now you know where I get that stubborn independence from.
Anyway, I don't know how to feel right now. I need it to be busy at work to keep me from dwelling, but I have a feeling tomorrow will be even more boring. Guess I'll have time to work though my feelings.
First was Spikey calling from Georgia. I can't believe that I hadn't talked to her in so long that I didn't even know she was in Georgia. Every time I've been away from Spikey I've said I would email/call every day. But I'm just so damn bad at that! I really miss Spikey, and I'm glad I'll see her next week. I wish I had enough money to fly out to her. Or to fly the two of us to some tralhead somewhere! And CONGRATS to Spikey for getting an NSF grant!!
Second call was Rob! Hadn't heard from him in forever either. He started by telling me he'd gotten married in Vegas. I didn't really believe it, but he kept going for so long that I almost started to. I remember him going to Vegas for March Madness last year, so it was somewhat plausible. Turns out he was in Vegas but didn't get married. Which is good because it sounds like there might be trouble in paradise. In fact, I think Rob may have propositioned me long distance. Well, assuming he ever made it to Chicago, which seems highly unlikely!
Last call was my dad. Granddad is back in the hospital, and Grandma's agreed to put the house on the market. I'm very glad I went home last weekend, but it looks like I may be going home a lot more in coming weeks/months. And I'm going to call my brother and make him take a trip back there, too. He hasn't been home since Christmas, and he's only four-and-a-half hours away. I think Dad may need us more than he's willing to admit. Now you know where I get that stubborn independence from.
Anyway, I don't know how to feel right now. I need it to be busy at work to keep me from dwelling, but I have a feeling tomorrow will be even more boring. Guess I'll have time to work though my feelings.
Monday, March 22, 2004
A bit of advice: don't try running right after eating Thai food.
***
I always wondered what college administrators did when classes were on break. Now I know-- not a whole lot. I spent most of the day organizing two years' worth of emails so that I can find them when I need them. Of course when the permanent secretary returns, she won't be able to find anything, but that's not really my problem. :)
***
Ohio was fabulous. I love my parents, and I love that I'm old enough that I can admit that I love hanging out with them! I wish Ohio were a little closer. Or that my parents lived somewhere else because there's no way I'm gonna live in Ohio (or Indiana, Kentucky, West Virginia, or Pennsylvania)! Seeing my grandfather in the nursing home was heartbreaking. I started wondering if my brother can remember when Granddad and Grandma were younger. I can remember playing catch with Grandad and going camping and canoeing with him. I remember Grandma babysitting us and playing fort, crawling around under the table. None of those things would be possible for them today. Watching loved ones grow older can be tough.
***
I found my old Hebrew flashcards when I was home. I'm not surprised I kept them, but I'm not sure why I did. In any case, I brought them back here with me. I'd like to refamiliarize myself with Hebrew. It's such a wonderful, wonderful language. Not at all useful to know, but hey when did I ever worry about whether the things I studied were practical ;) Speaking of, I'm also taking up knitting and crocheting and learning Russian.
***
I always wondered what college administrators did when classes were on break. Now I know-- not a whole lot. I spent most of the day organizing two years' worth of emails so that I can find them when I need them. Of course when the permanent secretary returns, she won't be able to find anything, but that's not really my problem. :)
***
Ohio was fabulous. I love my parents, and I love that I'm old enough that I can admit that I love hanging out with them! I wish Ohio were a little closer. Or that my parents lived somewhere else because there's no way I'm gonna live in Ohio (or Indiana, Kentucky, West Virginia, or Pennsylvania)! Seeing my grandfather in the nursing home was heartbreaking. I started wondering if my brother can remember when Granddad and Grandma were younger. I can remember playing catch with Grandad and going camping and canoeing with him. I remember Grandma babysitting us and playing fort, crawling around under the table. None of those things would be possible for them today. Watching loved ones grow older can be tough.
***
I found my old Hebrew flashcards when I was home. I'm not surprised I kept them, but I'm not sure why I did. In any case, I brought them back here with me. I'd like to refamiliarize myself with Hebrew. It's such a wonderful, wonderful language. Not at all useful to know, but hey when did I ever worry about whether the things I studied were practical ;) Speaking of, I'm also taking up knitting and crocheting and learning Russian.
Friday, March 19, 2004
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Wow. I just managed to utter the phrase, "I don't think that's a good idea" and stick to my guns. At least for the moment.
***
In a totally unrelated note... One of my daily responsibilities at work is to check the department mail. Naturally we have three different mailboxes, in three different buildings. In one or another of the mailboxes I found a magazine called "Cross and Crescent." The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. Once I got back to the department and was distributing the mail I realized that someone formerly associated with our department must be a Lambda Chi alum. There's a reason that Cross and Crescent sounded familiar. After all, I was a Lambda Chi Crescent Girl once upon a time.
Speaking of work, if someone would have asked me five years ago, or five weeks ago, what I wanted to do with my life, I wouldn't have said that I wanted to be a secretary. But I LOVE my job. Strange that I'm supporting people in the position I used to be in and actually enjoying it. I supposed I could think of it as a step down, but it is a voluntary step, and it's really a lateral one. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that my compulsive personality would fit perfectly with an admin job! Maybe I should rethink what I want to do when this temp position is over.
***
In a totally unrelated note... One of my daily responsibilities at work is to check the department mail. Naturally we have three different mailboxes, in three different buildings. In one or another of the mailboxes I found a magazine called "Cross and Crescent." The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. Once I got back to the department and was distributing the mail I realized that someone formerly associated with our department must be a Lambda Chi alum. There's a reason that Cross and Crescent sounded familiar. After all, I was a Lambda Chi Crescent Girl once upon a time.
Speaking of work, if someone would have asked me five years ago, or five weeks ago, what I wanted to do with my life, I wouldn't have said that I wanted to be a secretary. But I LOVE my job. Strange that I'm supporting people in the position I used to be in and actually enjoying it. I supposed I could think of it as a step down, but it is a voluntary step, and it's really a lateral one. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that my compulsive personality would fit perfectly with an admin job! Maybe I should rethink what I want to do when this temp position is over.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Ever get sad for no reason at all? You're going along with your life, happy-go-lucky, and suddenly, out of nowhere, you're morose to your core. That's what just happened to me.
I think in some ways my life here doesn't really seem real. I haven't made any effort at all to make new friends or even spend that much time with the people I know. I haven't managed to sign up for any running clubs or reading groups or environmental organizations or any of the other assemblages I had planned to join. I'm not writing; my files are still disorganized in their moving boxes. I don't even have a local phone number or driver's license yet. My job is temporary; I rent; and I avoid any possibility of relationship.
I think I've just been transient for so long that I don't know how to change. I guess that's what happens when you're a career student. You always know that you'll be moving at some point in the near future, so you never get too attached. Most academics can't settle until at least their mid-thirties when they finally fall into a tenure-track position. There's no question that I'm far happier here than I was in Cali, but I'm having trouble letting go of that vagabond mindset.
I'm going to go run before I get too despondent.
I think in some ways my life here doesn't really seem real. I haven't made any effort at all to make new friends or even spend that much time with the people I know. I haven't managed to sign up for any running clubs or reading groups or environmental organizations or any of the other assemblages I had planned to join. I'm not writing; my files are still disorganized in their moving boxes. I don't even have a local phone number or driver's license yet. My job is temporary; I rent; and I avoid any possibility of relationship.
I think I've just been transient for so long that I don't know how to change. I guess that's what happens when you're a career student. You always know that you'll be moving at some point in the near future, so you never get too attached. Most academics can't settle until at least their mid-thirties when they finally fall into a tenure-track position. There's no question that I'm far happier here than I was in Cali, but I'm having trouble letting go of that vagabond mindset.
I'm going to go run before I get too despondent.
Monday, March 15, 2004
Stupid fucking cell phone people. Just got off the phone with Cingular. I wanted to change my number to a Chicago one. Thought maybe I could admit that I'm living in Chicago now. On the Cingular website is a nice statement about how all you have to do is call Cingular and *presto* you get a new number. Well, after the requisite waiting and call-transferring, I was put though to the Chicago relocation center. The nice woman there told me that she can't help me. I have to go to a Cingular store. And BUY a new card for the back of my phone. What the hell kind of sense does that make?!? I didn't move to a new country, just a new state. Humph. I just want to run away from my past-- how difficult can it be?
My Q&A session at dinner last night with Urban Therapy (They were the Q, I was the A) led me to think about being open. Is it weird that I have no problem talking about the most intimate details of my life? I actually have to restrain myself in this blog because I supose the whole internet shouldn't know everything about me. But it really doesn't make me that uncomfortable for people to know who I'm dating, etc. Is that strange?
Oh, and which of your friends would you sleep with if he/she asked?
Oh, and which of your friends would you sleep with if he/she asked?
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Ok, I'm home safely. For those who didn't know I was out of town, I was out of town. I'll be gone next weekend, too, but to a different place.
Anyway, other than driving, which sucked, the weekend was very nice and relaxing. Watched a lot of college basketball, which is odd because I normally hate basketball. But this weekend, for whatever reason, I didn't actually mind it that much.
The problem is that now that I'm home I'm thinking of all the gazillion things I should have done over the weekend and will now have to do in the evenings after work. I could let things slide until next weekend except that I'm going even further away and will have even less free time. Alas. So if I owe you an email or two, it's coming. Eventually.
But now I have to go to sleep because I get to go to WORK tomorrow. Yay! We'll see how long the excitement lasts...
Anyway, other than driving, which sucked, the weekend was very nice and relaxing. Watched a lot of college basketball, which is odd because I normally hate basketball. But this weekend, for whatever reason, I didn't actually mind it that much.
The problem is that now that I'm home I'm thinking of all the gazillion things I should have done over the weekend and will now have to do in the evenings after work. I could let things slide until next weekend except that I'm going even further away and will have even less free time. Alas. So if I owe you an email or two, it's coming. Eventually.
But now I have to go to sleep because I get to go to WORK tomorrow. Yay! We'll see how long the excitement lasts...
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
At some point I decided that I didn't want to call the guy from the other night. I figured that if I didn't return two calls he'd get the point. It seemed almost cruel to rub salt in the wound by calling to tell him I wasn't interested. The plan didn't work. He called again today, so I decided I'd better actually return the call. After I spent a few minutes explaining some of the more complicated aspects of my life the boy decided he didn't actually want to date me after all. I'm still not sure why it took him so long to realize that!
In more positive news, I wll be employed for a bit longer-- about 10 weeks, to be exact. There's a woman on maternity leave at the school where I'm helping out (in a different department), and they need someone to fill in. They liked me enough over the past 2 weeks to hire me without even seeing a resume. Anyway, I have a bit of breathing room now. I can take some time to actually figure out what kind of job I want and how best to approach the search. Or maybe more women will have babies, and I can just keep temping :)
Is it the weekend yet? I really want it to be the weekend!
In more positive news, I wll be employed for a bit longer-- about 10 weeks, to be exact. There's a woman on maternity leave at the school where I'm helping out (in a different department), and they need someone to fill in. They liked me enough over the past 2 weeks to hire me without even seeing a resume. Anyway, I have a bit of breathing room now. I can take some time to actually figure out what kind of job I want and how best to approach the search. Or maybe more women will have babies, and I can just keep temping :)
Is it the weekend yet? I really want it to be the weekend!
Monday, March 08, 2004
I finally ran today.Took 4 days off, which made me feel like a slob. But actually, my run today felt really good. I think it was good I let my body heal a little. But here's the problem: I've always run/hiked/worked out b/c it made me feel good and/or I really enjoyed it. But I have to admit a slight cosmetic motivation creeping in. It's not that I don't like the way I look or anything; it's just now that I've been running a lot, I really love having muscular legs. And when I don't run for a few days I feel a little flabbier, and that makes me feel like I have to run again. I know, so dumb, but at least I'm running.
Helping out with grad student registration today was fun. Grad students are just not that smart sometimes. I mean, I've been at the school for exactly one week and have no reason to learn anything about the procedures b/c I'm leaving at the end of this week, but I understand what's going on better than some of the students who've been there for 5+ years. Was I that dumb when I was in grad school? Probably. It's difficult to allocate any brainpower for mundane things like common sense when you're life is consumed by understanding Eliade and Derrida.
A few of the students weren't registering for any classes, just doing research. For some bizarre bureaucratic reason, they still have to trudge on into the office with a signed piece of paper, so I can enter their i.d. numbers into the computer to verify that, indeed, they are registering for nothing. You'd think they could manage to get the whole process online. Probably a lot cheaper than paying me for a week! Or hey, they could pay me to put it online. I don't actually know how to do that, but I'm fairly certain I could figure it out. Then again, that kind of thinking hasn't actually landed me a job yet.
In any case, one of the kids who was registering for nothing mentioned that he was spending every day at home watching bad daytime TV. I warned him that that's exactly the road I was starting to go down when I dropped out of grad school. He didn't seem to heed my warning; he was too excited by Judge Judy. Of course, if I'm not mistaken, I've also seen more than my fair share of daytime TV since I left grad school, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
Helping out with grad student registration today was fun. Grad students are just not that smart sometimes. I mean, I've been at the school for exactly one week and have no reason to learn anything about the procedures b/c I'm leaving at the end of this week, but I understand what's going on better than some of the students who've been there for 5+ years. Was I that dumb when I was in grad school? Probably. It's difficult to allocate any brainpower for mundane things like common sense when you're life is consumed by understanding Eliade and Derrida.
A few of the students weren't registering for any classes, just doing research. For some bizarre bureaucratic reason, they still have to trudge on into the office with a signed piece of paper, so I can enter their i.d. numbers into the computer to verify that, indeed, they are registering for nothing. You'd think they could manage to get the whole process online. Probably a lot cheaper than paying me for a week! Or hey, they could pay me to put it online. I don't actually know how to do that, but I'm fairly certain I could figure it out. Then again, that kind of thinking hasn't actually landed me a job yet.
In any case, one of the kids who was registering for nothing mentioned that he was spending every day at home watching bad daytime TV. I warned him that that's exactly the road I was starting to go down when I dropped out of grad school. He didn't seem to heed my warning; he was too excited by Judge Judy. Of course, if I'm not mistaken, I've also seen more than my fair share of daytime TV since I left grad school, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
So I met a guy the other night (the night that inspired the "no more boys" comment). It turns out that he actually wants to date me, a prospect I find completely and totally frightening (not to mention unusual). Anyone who knows me well can tell you that any guy who expresses interest in me is doomed from the start. I love the chase, and if that element is missing, I must confess I see little point in dating. I thought for a long time that this was due to my utter fear of commitment, and that may well be a contributing cause. But I think I've discovered another reason.
If I were a guy, I would be what polite society calls a "confirmed bachelor." Polite or not, society refers to such women as whores, or, as they age, spinsters. I say hurrah for old maids, and I can't wait to be one. I'm not opposed to the idea of marriage, for other people. I just have little interest in it myself.
It's the not idea of forever that scares me about marriage. The truth is I just really like to be alone. And so I don't want to date; I don't want a boyfriend. I like having my own space, and my own schedule. I like that if I want to go out of town for the weekend, I just go. If I want to run at midnight, or read all night, or wake up at dawn to do yoga on the roof, I can. If I want to leave my apartment in shambles or keep it spotlessly clean, I do. And if I want to spend a couple of days completely by myself with no contact with the outside world, no one even has to realize I am doing so.
Now I'm not saying I dislike people or want to be alone all the time. I love my friends and family, and I always enjoy my time with them. It's just that at the end of day I want to go to my own home and sleep by myself. And I don't see how a boyfriend can fit into that lifestyle.
The trouble is that now I have to figure out how to explain this to the guy I met. If I say, "It's not you; it's me," I'm sure it will sound like a bad line. But in this case, it's true. He's pretty perfect. I'm just not interested.
If I were a guy, I would be what polite society calls a "confirmed bachelor." Polite or not, society refers to such women as whores, or, as they age, spinsters. I say hurrah for old maids, and I can't wait to be one. I'm not opposed to the idea of marriage, for other people. I just have little interest in it myself.
It's the not idea of forever that scares me about marriage. The truth is I just really like to be alone. And so I don't want to date; I don't want a boyfriend. I like having my own space, and my own schedule. I like that if I want to go out of town for the weekend, I just go. If I want to run at midnight, or read all night, or wake up at dawn to do yoga on the roof, I can. If I want to leave my apartment in shambles or keep it spotlessly clean, I do. And if I want to spend a couple of days completely by myself with no contact with the outside world, no one even has to realize I am doing so.
Now I'm not saying I dislike people or want to be alone all the time. I love my friends and family, and I always enjoy my time with them. It's just that at the end of day I want to go to my own home and sleep by myself. And I don't see how a boyfriend can fit into that lifestyle.
The trouble is that now I have to figure out how to explain this to the guy I met. If I say, "It's not you; it's me," I'm sure it will sound like a bad line. But in this case, it's true. He's pretty perfect. I'm just not interested.
Watched Intolerable Cruelty and Runaway Jury last night. Both were pretty much what I expected-- not brilliant, but kind of fun and filled with pretty people. I've never been a huge fan of the Coen Brothers (I hated O Brother, Where Art Thou?), but I think they handled the Cruelty script quite well, and who wouldn't want to stare at George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones for a few hours? As for Jury, well, anything starring my future husband (John Cusack) has to be good, and I've always enjoyed Dustin Hoffman's work.
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Thursday, March 04, 2004
And the best part about Vidal's book? Only novel I've ever read (and I've read a LOT of them) that discusses Helen Schucman's channeled text, A Course in Miracles. And since I'm the world's leading authority on ACIM (having published the only existing academic work on the subject), I think that's really cool.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Yeah, so working all day and then looking for jobs/running at night kinda takes it out of me. I'm loving goinh to work every day though! I filed for 8 hours today, and it was the most fun I've had in a long time. That's not quite as sick as it sounds b/c there's 4 of us talking the whole time we're doing office work. And, sure, we're all way overeducated to be filing and copying, but hey, people's futures depend on what we're doing, so it has to be done well. And they've got stuff for me to do through next week if nothing else comes through, so maybe I won't go totally broke and/or crazy.
For those of you fascinated by DaVinci Code and The Passion, I'd like to suggest two other vastly superior works: Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum and Gore Vidal's Live From Golgotha: The Gospel According to Gore Vidal. Neither is an easy read, but they're much better fictional expositions on early Christianity than their more popular counterparts, and still fun. So use your college educations, and read good books. (And if you understand them, explain them to me!)
For those of you fascinated by DaVinci Code and The Passion, I'd like to suggest two other vastly superior works: Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum and Gore Vidal's Live From Golgotha: The Gospel According to Gore Vidal. Neither is an easy read, but they're much better fictional expositions on early Christianity than their more popular counterparts, and still fun. So use your college educations, and read good books. (And if you understand them, explain them to me!)
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